You made me cry and you don't even care
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
