Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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