I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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