After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
