with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
