So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
