I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
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