Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
