these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Randomize
