i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
