break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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