I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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