By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
No subtext here. People are naked.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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