the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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