yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
