No awkward lesbian experiences without me
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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