Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
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