Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
