we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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