We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i came on her dog
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
