Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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