I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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