Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
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