Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
