STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
