i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
