We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
