She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I was not drunk enough for that final.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
