that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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