"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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