i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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