I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
