Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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