Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
