Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
