i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
