Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
