you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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