i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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