You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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