We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
