which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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