Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
