We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
