yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize