Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Randomize
