If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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