so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
