can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
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