If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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