And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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