If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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