doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
